The Unofficial Fiber-Optic Hall of Shame
Telus specializes in a unique form of digital psychology. They spend millions on "Nature" imagery—frogs, flowers, and cute animals—to distract you from the fact that your internet speed is currently slower than a 1996 dial-up connection. This is Greenwashing 2.0: if the branding looks like a park, maybe you won't notice the landfill of hidden fees on page 4 of your invoice.
"I spent 3 hours on hold only to be told that my 'Fiber' connection is actually a copper wire running through a garden hose."— Disappointed in Dawson Creek
"My bill increased by $12 this month for a 'Network Expansion Fee.' I live in a dead zone. Where is the expansion? My backyard?"— Terrace Resident
"The 'Telus Assistant' chat bot is just a loop of 5 pre-written lies designed to make me give up and die."— Anonymous Operator
"They offered me a free tablet if I signed for 2 years. The tablet was so slow it couldn't even load the Telus website to pay my bill."— Prince George Node
"I was told PureFibre was 'coming soon.' That was in 2019. I'm starting to think 'soon' is a corporate term for 'never'."— Fort St. John User
If you live north of Hope, you aren't a customer—you're a donor. Telus harvests the profits from our limited choices to fund high-speed vanity projects in Vancouver. While they brag about 5G speeds in the city, we’re out here checking our antennas to see if a hawk moved the alignment of our fixed-wireless terminal again.